"Are you out of your mind?! You dragged me all the way out here to tell me I'm some sort of caveman?"
"Man, I am not in the mood to have my head ventilated by some pissed off magpie."
"Part of your job is to walk into a place and figure out what happened there. So is mine, but just that my places are usually
a few thousand years vacant."
"I am NOT cutting my hair."
"Look...I may be a rookie in your little Dirty Harry-world here, but I'm telling you man when it comes to thesis speak...I'm a pro!"
"We just took a brief detour to the Sandburg zone."
"Allright, look, Sandburg, this is a crime scene. I don't want you touching anything."
"So, how are your...roommates getting along?"
"They found Larry."
"I was thinking about getting a Cascade PD insignia tattooed right on my chest."
"Don't you think we should have a secret password or something?" ....
I arrest the bad guys, and you do everything you can to get them off."
"Let's get some pizza."
"Maybe we should get you home."
"Thank you, Lord...uh...for all you do...for the great chili ... Amen."
"You wanna go along for the ride?"
"And, uh, what pray tell is that thing?"
"You know Blair, Naomi's a very attractive woman. I never would've guessed that she's so young."
"Only you could eat egg foo yong for breakfast."
"Number one, you're not a cop, you're a civilian observer. Number two, you're personally involved."
"When my ex-wife and I first got serious, I burned all the old letters from all the old girlfriends."
"Usually if Blair says something ... it's true."
C'mon, man. You've got the attention span of a gerbil."
"Now let's journey to that part of the brain where your senses converge."
"If that place blows, you're gonna end up in another zipcode."
"Just don't go trying to turn hero on me, Blair."
"You're telling me we're lost?"
"Well, the way Sandburg navigates we'd probably be lost and mauled by a sasquatch or two."
"Allright, I'll bite. What's up?"
"Hey, how about letting me drive, man?"
"Your friend has quite a way with kids."
"Sandburg inhabits a rather strange and confusing world. Do you want to go there?"
Hey Simon, is it just me or is Cascade the most dangerous city in America?"
"I am calm, I am calm, I am....freezing."
"Your hearing is one of your greatest asset and if you've been only using it at half-speed, think of what you can do!"
"Please accept my humble apologies."
"Better have a rescue unit stand by, we got a couple of city cops poking around the north woods."
You won't think less of me if I actually take you up on that offer?"
"Cold and wet is my world."
"Come on, Jim. What kind of dog do you think I am?"
"'69 was a very good year for me."
"All right, my little guppy. You ready for your first fly casting lesson?"
"So, what do you think of our two feds?"
"As an anthropologist, I have to wonder what it is about our culture that breeds this type of criminal."
"I'll be using my best diplomatic skills sir."
"So, what do you think?"
"Ok, D'Artagnan, why don't ya just back off on this one. You've already dated half of the eligible women in the department. Leave
her alone, ok?"
"The breadth of your knowledge never ceases to amaze me."
"When flying was flying; wind in your hair, heart in your throat..."
"Hey, turn this up."
"Now, if you go anywhere near that place, I'm gonna have to use your head as a football."
"Strictly an observer, eh, Chief?"
"No way. Absolutely not."
"Give me your coat."
"Shoot the tires out."
"I'll guide her through it, captain."
Your police world is very black and white. If you spent more time here, you'd realize these hallowed halls are very gray."
"Why does he bug me?"
"Like a runaway stagecoach."
"What're you talking about!?! That means jumping!"
"Well, that's crazy."
"Well, what if they swerve and you miss -- that leaves me."
- Blair and Jim, Murder 101
"Speaking of money, the 20 bucks you left on the counter? I borrowed it."
"If there's dirt, I'll find it."
"One of the symptoms of mental disorder is heightened senses."
"I don't really get modern art. Maybe you do, but this just looks like a big white square to me."
"There. That covers everything. That's why I'm the Captain."
"Turn east on western."
"Now is it just the acoustics in that room, or does everyone behind that desk automatically get loud?"